sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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