I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
