Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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