And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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