I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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