There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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