Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
