I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
