She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
