I hate all girls vehemently.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
