So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You can't special order awesome
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
