This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
