Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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