Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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