Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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