In the future we'll all be gay
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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