My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize