Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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