I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
