You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
