I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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