Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
