I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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