I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
