So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize