I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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