i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
