Texts From Last Night

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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"

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  (780): she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!" http://tfl.nu/mre5
  Replies (13) Good night (4521) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.

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  (518): They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke. http://tfl.nu/jbb2
  Replies (41) Good night (1919) Bad night (3441) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.

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  (301): He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired. http://tfl.nu/1pq9
  Replies (29) Good night (5073) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

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  (303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking. http://tfl.nu/3qfc
  Replies (22) Good night (7186) Bad night (1143) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

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  (803): Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear. http://tfl.nu/2r4l
  Replies (18) Good night (7601) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.

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  (908): Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain. http://tfl.nu/ncmc
  Replies (9) Good night (4385) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.

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  (803): He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex. http://tfl.nu/kpvm
  Replies (4) Good night (4529) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak

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  (847): he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak http://tfl.nu/y31q
  Replies (18) Good night (1161) Bad night (5135) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It was like getting head from an anaconda

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  (419): It was like getting head from an anaconda http://tfl.nu/fnhr
  Replies (23) Good night (2960) Bad night (2071) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face

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  (973): Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face http://tfl.nu/mow6
  Replies (7) Good night (564) Bad night (1785) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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  (541): i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts. http://tfl.nu/e6qn
  Replies (5) Good night (2037) Bad night (447)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (15) Good night (1420) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up

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  (513): It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up http://tfl.nu/rfwb
  Replies (8) Good night (643) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom

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  (815): I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom http://tfl.nu/3qo4
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"

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  (512): Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants" http://tfl.nu/ccmr
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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