Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......