id be glad to
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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