this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
