I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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