As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
