My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
