Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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