I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
