dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
