what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
