i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
