Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
