Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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