matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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