Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Randomize