feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
