If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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