someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
