fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
