So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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