I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
