im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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