dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
