i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
