whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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