Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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