i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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