Just took my morning after pill in the library
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
