I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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