names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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