then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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