that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
