by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
