Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
They took my balls.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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