it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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