none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
